Sunday, May 14, 2017

What Gives You Life

I recently have gotten "back" into blogging.  To be truthful, I tried my hand at "professional blogging" (meaning I tried to make my blog look all fancy and do a bunch of different things, write a certain way, etc but never monetized it), but that was all about 5 years and three kids ago.  However, one exhausted night after everyone in my house had already gone to bed I remembered a far off corner of enjoyment for me that I had laid aside for years.  In fact I was remembering a simpler time of life, especially in my attitude when it came to mothering and trying to think back as to what had such a profound impact.  
Then it hit me, I remembered what a huge impact different blogs had on me as I navigated the uncharted waters of being a stay at home mom  The Lord used different blogs throughout at couple of years to affirm, challenge, and educate me in this vast world of being a SAHM.  My attitude went from one of not wanting to stay at home with my baby to one of seeing what a beautiful gift it was and this was in large part because of the blogs and sermons I sought out.  They really shaped my attitude into a love for being at home and to seeing the importance and holiness it brings. 
Fast forward a few years and a few kids later and here I am sitting down discouraged and I remember a treasure from years past and wonder if it even still exists.  Do stay at home moms blog anymore?  Like they used to? Can I even remember the websites I used to go to for encouragement?  It turns out "yes" was the answer to all those questions, and I am so thankful it has been!  I have been so encouraged by the posts I have read the last couple of weeks and the reminders to find my rest, hope, strength, beauty, and whatever else in Jesus, and how to do that in the middle of this busy season.  
This has also made me reevaluate and be thankful for the ways God has made each person different.  I desperately want to be that person that "gets life" by going to the gym and working out for an hour.  My husband is that person, and while yes I feel better after  do just that, it isn't what I look forward to by any means, and therefore isn't something I do consistently.  And honestly for years this has bothered me.  That I am not a "fit person" by nature, that I don't enjoy something I know I should and is good for me.  No what gives me life is writing and reading.  Those little moments where I am doing the very opposite of moving and staying in shape physically, but when I am sitting down doing exactly what I am doing this very moment.  This is what I look forward to, this is what I enjoy, this reenergizes me to face whatever might be waiting for me as I teach and train my children.  For the longest time I was not ok with this, and it still bothers me, I wish I could do this and work out at the same time.  But today I am choosing to see it as a blessing, as a way God has made me different, and it is all part of His plan and design.  
So I guess my message for today is, don't beat yourself up because of something you wish you were and just aren't.  Instead remember those things that are important to you, that bring you satisfaction and joy and celebrate the fact God has given you an outlet that is uniquely you.  Is it ok to try to better yourself, to do new things, even things that aren't fun? Absolutely, we all should do just that, but some days it is good to sit down and bask in the beauty of being exactly the way God made you.