Thursday, July 30, 2015

Drawing Close To God

I hesitate to even write this post because I definitely do not feel like I have it all together, have figured out some amazing secret to being uber spiritual or anything like that, but I need to document this time in life.  This crazy season we are in, when life seems to be one big clean up blur, going by in a flash and yet the hours just crawl by.  A time when you can feel like super mom one day and then lose it an hour later when you yell at your kids for doing something you've asked them 40 million times not to do.  A time when sleeping through the night completely is never a guarentee, in fact you proabably guaranteed to wake up at least once each night more often than not.

All that to say we are tired, I am tired, exhausted, falling out any time I sit down kind of tired.  Mothering littles is not for the faint of heart that is for sure, it makes you weary, tests you in every possible way, and is relentless.  Which is why I knew I needed to be plugging into God's word and what He had for me each day, but I wasn't.  I had so many excuses, albeit good ones, "I am waking up every 2-3 hours to feed a baby" was at the very top of the list.  Now before I go any further let me say here and now I believe there is grace in all things.  I don't think God is sitting there with a timer ticking off when you do or don't do your quiet time.  I don't think He is mad at the exhausted mother who is getting every ounce of sleep she can, especially in those early months, however we should not stay there.  I was using the excuse even when I was only getting up once or twice.  Finally once my dear Halle Kate started sleeping through the night I knew I had run out of valid things to blame my lack of time spent with the Lord on.  It came down to my own motivation, lack of desire, and laziness.

As I type those words I cringe.  I cringe to think about how I felt towards the Maker of the world, how I thought, how I acted.  I don't know if I also felt like I didn't know how to get back to a place of closeness to God so that made the task kind of more daunting or what.  However this was me 3 weeks ago.  then a friend let me borrow a book called "Shopping for Time" and even though I only got part of the way through it, it totally changed my persepective and gave me the motivation to get up and meet with God before my day started.  Now let me tell you I have NEVER nor will I ever be a morning person.  I always thought those people or studies that said you should do your quiet time in the morning were saying it merely out of opinion (and they are to some extent) but that it would really never apply to me.  Arrogant I know, but it is what I thought.  This book somehow covinced me that getting up early is actually so much more beneficial and I don't even really remember how.  I do know they made a 5 AM club where they all would call or text to make sure each other was up and reading the word so they had motivation and accountability.  Maybe it was knowing I wasn't alone with getting up and going that finally did it, but I began getting up to read my bible.

And wouldn't you know it, God honored it.  He honored the "sacrifice" (and I use that term VERY loosely) of a few more minutes of shut eye and the choice to come sit at His feet and get my day started by mediating on Him.  I actually began to look forward to being up, to praying, to reading, to listening.  It has been so refreshing to my soul.  I don't know why I am so surprised by this, I should have done this a long time ago, God has been waiting to pour out this blessing on me, I have been the one to refuse it in a way.  Am I perfect? No way!  HK had a week in there where she had a UTI, and was up every 2-3 hours screaming  at night and there were mornings I just couldn't get up.  However, more often than not I am up.  I sometimes fall asleep again while praying (I try really hard not to do this, but its happened a few times) but I am doing it.  I have been praying scripture over myself and Mark, another passage over my children, and then reading whatever I happen to read that day whether its the proverb for the day, a psalm or the study I am currently doing with Mark.  

So yes, if this encourages anyone I hope it encourages you to know you can get up, you don't have to be a morning person, but you can start your day off at a mediating slow pace instead of running 2 steps behind your children from the moment you wake up.  I wish I could adequately describe how much better it makes you spiritually, but I think it is just something you may have to discover for yourself.  Do it, for a couple of weeks, and I guarantee you won't regret it.  

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Instagram: The Mini Blog

Ok you guys, I honestly can't believe this blog is still going (kind of).  Seriously 7, going on 8 years is a long time, sometimes I cannot even believe it.  It would be so hard to give something up that is so old and so near and dear to my heart.  I love to go back and re-read what I was doing at certain points in my life and to remember details that I have long sense forgotten.

However with three 4 and under it gets a little harder to get over here and do what I love (writing).  It's not even that I am strapped for time as much as it is anytime I sit down I am almost certainly going to fall asleep while doing whatever it is I am pursuing at the moment.  Whether that is blogging, reading, watching t.v., anything really, sleep WILL overcome me.  I think that just comes with the territory.  All of this to say, Instagram has become like my "mini-blog" where I can just pop in, talk about what's going on, and then not worry about it.  However I know I will need to remember this season, because that is truly what it is, a season of mothering littles and so many times I think we as moms tend to forget (maybe by God's grace? haha) what we have really gone through.  So here is what life is feeling like right now. . . this will be jumbled, crazy, and just a tiny look inside our lives at the moment.

Since it is summer there is, how should I put this, a very loose schedule.  We have a consistent wake up, nap, and bed time, but other than that it is all kind of free game.  After our Morning Jobs we usually we spend the rest of the morning with friends or out in the front yard (before it gets too hot), or in the game room.  I try to do some stuff around the house at this time too (laundry, clean the kitchen, dinner prep if there is any, etc).  Sometimes it works out that way, and sometimes you have to just go sit and read a book and play cars.  Before you know it, lunch is here, followed by one show, and then nap until Daddy gets home, then the sky is the limit as to what we will do that night.

This is the first time I can ever actually remember loving summer.  I am a fall and winter girl, if I am not a mom of 3 children.  This past fall and winter we were so sick, I couldn't wait for warmer temps to take all of that away.  The bigger our family grows the longer the illnesses are drawn out it seems, so summer is now a favorite until they learn how to throw up without my assistance.

The boys are growing so big, like seriously, it is ridiculous.  I mean I almost have a five year old! FIVE!!!! What the what?!?!  That blows my mind!  I have absolutely adored year 4 and with Reid, he has grown up into a great and mature kid.  He is learning so much, especially educationally, and to really no credit on my part, just things he has picked up on, asked me about, or wanted to know.  However, he is still a little guy, which I absolutely love, how suspended between stages he is.  He says the funniest little things that I know will one day be a distant memory.  Things like something is "soaking big" (He means "so very big" I think, but I love the way he says "So-King BIG!" that I just can't correct him), or how a hot dog weenie is a "winnie".  Basically I love this boy big, though he knows just how to push every single crazy button I have, I know and pray he will do great things for the Lord with that strong will.  He is so precious to me

Owen is 2.5 and oh is he ever in the throws of being two.  He is the funniest, slyest, sweetest kid I know, and he totally knows it too.  He tries (and sometimes succeeds) in using his charm to get him out of trouble by a smile or saying something funny. He is still a mama's boy through and through.  No one else can hold him after he wakes up from nap if I am around.   He is the loudest screamer, the most dramatic and the whiniest thing, all while being a cute, precious, love and cuddle bug.  His vocabulary has totally taken off and he is now speaking in full sentences and can pretty much tell us exactly what he wants.  I love the language development that happens during the 2nd year, it is so neat to watch them really learn how to communicate.  We are working on what is appropriate and what isn't at the moment (don't scream at brother, be careful with sister, don't throw your food on the floor, etc.) but he is an adorable and sweet kid!

I am going to do a whole post on where Halle Kate is right now tomorrow so for today she doesn't get a paragraph (hashtag: third kid problems).  We are loving being a family of 5.  It is the most exhausting yet most meaningful thing Mark and I have ever done.  We are so very thankful to God for all the many blessings we have that we most definitely don't deserve.