Do Everything

God is just funny awesome sometimes.  Even in the little areas of our life, He just chooses to show us His love, and that He is very involved in our lives, yes, even the life of a stay at home mom.  Yesterday the hubby and I went on a crossover trip where we took the 6th going into 7th grade students who are going into the youth group to a water park.  This water park is called Splash Kingdom, and it encourages it's patrons to first Seek the Kingdom using Matthew 6:33 in it's advertisements.  They play Christian radio throughout the park all day long.  It is a small park with a great family atmosphere.  So much so we even let the kids go around in pairs or more if they wanted.  All in all a great trip.

Back to my story.  We were on the way back, listening to KLOVE, the local christian radio station when I heard the lyrics to a song come up and then the artist start talking about them over the song.  I was trying to listen to Mark, listen to the lyrics over the artist, and all the time thinking, he is singing about my life!  I never caught the name of the song, but I knew it was Steven Curtis Chapman.  I said I would look it up later.  As soon as we got home, we picked up the baby, showered, and headed across the street for a prayer meeting and fellowship with some friends.  It was a great time, something I am so thankful to God for.  Once that was over, Reid and I headed to the youth building to go get Mark, who had left the get together early to go practice praise band for the next day, and found him, along with my brother, playing in there.  Adam was downloading some songs from his computer to a jump drive for Mark to download.  I took it from him, then once we were finally home and had the baby in bed, I decided to upload them to my laptop.  One of the CD of songs that was on there was Steven Curtis Chapman's new CD Re:created.  And wouldn't you know the first song on there was the one I had heard earlier!!!!  It is called "Do Everything" and I fell in love right away.  Here is the first part of the lyrics.  Doesn't the first part just sound like the life of a stay at home mom?

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

It was such a good reminder and such wonderful way for God to speak straight to my heart, that yes what I am doing matters.  Yes following His will for my life and staying at home matters to Him, it matters in eternity, I am making a difference even if it is just sweeping up the Cheerios that got away.  It also helps me to keep right attitude as do stay at home, that I am supposed to do everything as if working for Him and not for men (and wouldn't you know that is also what I read this morning in my quiet time in Col 3:23).  

All in all it has been a great week for me.  I have been working on not keeping tally and finding joy in doing things for my family.  It has been my prayer and God has been so faithful to provide.  It isn't an overnight thing, it has been a process, but it's wonderful.  

Here is the whole song if you want to read it.  You can also go here to listen to it, and here to hear the story behind the song.

You’re picking up toys on the living room floor
for the 15th time today
Matching up socks and sweeping up lost
Cheerios that got away
You put a baby on your hip and color on your lips
and head out the door
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you

Do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace
With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

OOoh ooooh oooooh

Maybe you’re that guy with the suit and tie
Maybe your shirt says your name
You may be hooking up mergers, cooking up burgers
But at the end of the day

Little stuff big stuff in between stuff
God sees it all the same
And while I may not know you I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes does it matter at all
We’ll let me remind you it all matters just as long as you do

Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you
To do every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace with every move that you make
And every little thing that you do

Well maybe you’re sitting in math class
Maybe anekatips on a mission in the Congo
Maybe you’re working at the office
Singing along with the radio
Maybe you’re dining at a five star
Or feeding orphans in Myanmar
Anywhere and everywhere you are
Whatever you do it all matters
So do what you do and don’t ever forget
to do

Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace as you do
Everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
Cause He made you to do
Every little thing that you do to bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace with every move that you make
And every little thing that you do

Ooh oooooh
Every little thing you do

Thankful. . .

Today I was driving.  That is it.  Just driving.  All alone, a rarity in my life now that I am a Mama.  No, there was no babbling baby, no radio, no husband singing slightly under his breath.  It was just me.  And it was good.  Here is why.

About a month ago my husband and I leant one of our cars (we have two) to a family in our church who had run into some bad luck with both of their cars.  They were waiting to be worked on in the shop and since the church where my hubby works is right across the street, we could spare a car for a couple of weeks.  Our Ford Taurus found a new home for a time being.  However, one day while they were driving it, it just quit working…

This was not good news for either party.  We brought the car up to my grandfather’s shop.  Luckily this man is one of the best mechanics this world has ever seen.  Seriously.  Most of the time you can just turn the car on, he will listen to it, and have a pretty good idea on what the problem is (and is right more than he is wrong).  This has saved countless thousands of dollars for my family as well as other families in our community.  He is a servant, a God fearing man, and a prayer warrior, a wonderful example.

This past week my husband and Papaw have been working on our poor Taurus.  My husband knows absolutely nothing about cars. Zero. Luckily Papaw is a patient man and a willing teacher.  He took the Hubs under his wing and allowed him to help in this project.  They had to take the transmission out, which took a while, and sent my husband home looking like a grease monkey the first day.  After this there was the ordering of a part (a Tork converter I believe) that they hoped would be able to fix the transmission instead of having to replace it.

Which brings me to today, when these two men go back to working on the car, and my husband the grease monkey reappears.  However, before they start their work day, my grandfather says to the Hubs, let’s pray because I am not real sure if this will work, it is a gamble.  So they pray for their day, their families, and that God would allow this $200 part to fix the problem instead of a $700 new transmission.  Guess what, at the end of the day, it did.

The best part though was getting the text message from my grease monkey honey saying he was done for the day.  When I asked how the car was he simply replied, “Working, praise God.”  Immediately I was so thankful for a husband who would work all day long on something and without a second thought give God the glory for it.  I was so thankful to have a husband who is unashamed to love the Lord.  I was so thankful to have a husband who would talk this way to me, and lead me to do the same by example.  I was just so grateful for this man, not another, that he is the one I get to spend the rest of my life with.

So on my solitary drive home, I thanked God.  Intensely thanked Him for the blessing of my husband.  Of a God-fearing/loving, praying grandfather.  Of the fact I get to be married to this guy for however long God sees fit.  I am blessed beyond measure to be his wife.  I prayed also for our marriage, for a strengthening of our relationship, for his stamina in being a leader not only at our church but at home, for his own spiritual life.  THis was such a sweet time with the Lord, one I am grateful for.  I am thankful for a God who listens, who hears, who blesses.  Thank you Father for quiet rides alone on a long stretch of highway when this mother needed it.

Married for Holiness

The hubby and I were fortunate enough to go on a marriage retreat this weekend.  We were so excited about it.  If I can be a little frank, we were beginning to need it.  Everyone knows what I am talking about.  There are highs and lows when  you go through in a marriage, times where you feel SO CONNECTED to that person, and others times you are left wondering “what did we ever have in common?”  It is ok, it is part of the process.  I am slowly learning that as we approach our 3 anniversary in about 2 and a half weeks.

At this retreat we watched a video study calledSacred Marriage by Gary Thomas.  While there were not a lot of “Oh my goodness, I’ve never thought about that before” moments, there were several thoughts that stuck out to me as being unique.  One thing he said and the statement the whole study seemed to revolve around was what if God didn’t intend marriage to make you happy, but to make you holy.  He was not saying that happiness isn’t important in a marriage and that God doesn’t desire that.  He was just stating the fact that happiness may not have been God’s first intent for a married couple, holiness is.

We were asked to think about it as a couple, to look back on all those things that bother us, get under our skin, or just plain make us mad, and instead of seeing them as flaws that we have to live with, seeing them as ways for God to make us holy as He is holy.  Perhaps you have needed to learn patience, and God is using your spouse to produce this character quality in you.  Perhaps your spouse is needing to learn self control in frustrating matters, and God is using you to produce that in them.  We were asked to reexamine these places and see them as ways God is using it to create holiness through our marriage relationship.

Gary also told us to treat each other as children of God which meant that God is would be (and is) our Father-in-law.  We should treat them as if our own earthly in-laws are walking around behind us watching how we treat their child!  What a concept.

Lastly Gary talked about how it takes work.  Studies show that it takes 9-14 years before the two married people begin to think of themselves as a couple and see themselves as a single unit instead of two individuals.  9-14 years!!  That is a decade or more!!! He was saying how it is so sad to see some of these marriages that are ending at like 7 years before they really have had a chance. It  was encouraging to me because I see my parents (who have a wonderful marriage) and other couples in our church that I look up to and  I say to myself “I want to be like them” but yet me and the hubs aren’t there yet.  I tell myself we have only been married 3 years, they have been married 25 or more. . . It is definitely a worthy goal to have.

I challenge you (and myself) to look at some of the issues you struggle with in your marriage or with your spouse as chances to become holy rather than to become upset.  Perhaps this will help as we strive to love each other as Christ has loved us.

Lies From The Enemy

I have been pondering to myself lately over what does it mean to be a modern stay at home mom.  As many of you already know, I am having to learn how to do this stay at home thing.  Sometimes this can be a little scary, especially when you have the enemy lying in wait to whisper lies into your heart.

For the past couple of days I have been pondering many “what if” questions.  These are never good, I know that, as I know I should give my worries to the Lord, but I failed.  I allowed the enemy to enter into my thoughts and whisper lies to me about myself.  The main lie I heard and the scariest one was “What if I don’t love Reid enough?  What if I don’t like him the way I should?  What if I don’t enjoy my own child the way he is meant to be enjoyed?”  These thoughts crept into my mind, especially as I took pleasure in seeing my child interact with other people and the joy they had from him.  I thought, “What if I am missing it?”

Thank goodness for husbands.  The Lord was gracious to give me a wonderful man who is so wise (especially for being so young) and will take the time to encourage me.  He reminded me of the fact I hear everyone around me say “Oh he is so cute, he is a wonderful baby, you’re so lucky, you’re so blessed he is so happy, you just don’t know how good you have it” and while all these things are true, these people are not the ones who are with him day in and day out.  The ones saying these nice things are not the people who get up in the middle of the night a few times a week when he is teething, or who are there when he won’t fall asleep for nap time.

I am ever reminded that being a stay at home mom is a huge sacrifice.  One I joyfully and gladly make most of the time.  However there are those moments when life gets the best of me and I am not so glad or joyful to be up at 12:30, then at 5, and again for good at 6:30.  I am learning to take my thoughts captive and surrender them to God, to mediate on His word, memorize it, live and breathe it.  Hopefully I do not allow the devil to get into my heart and my head again with these thoughts.  I love my little boy dearly, and I do enjoy the days I get to spend with him, watching him grow and thrive.  I wonder if I am the only one who has had thoughts like this?  Are there others?  If you have and know other ways to fight the lies off and away from my heart I would love to know.  Just leave a comment.

Making a Difference. . .

So, I am sorry I haven't kept up with my promise to blog at least twice a week, but I promise I have a semi-good excuse.  For the past two weeks I have been up at the school subbing.  The first week I was helping my mom with the TAKS test for the last week!  The kids and teachers are all excited to have all subjects and tests over and done with.  However, I do not believe that anyone is more excited about this then my mom.  She works so hard for that silly thing.  She has not only the teachers and the students in their classroom to worry about, but she has to get subs and prepare them and the boxes and tests they will need for those students who need more one on one attention.  She is amazing!  Anyway, on to what this post is really about (believe me one for my mommy is coming shortly).

Like I said I have been up at the school for the past two weeks.  This past week I have been subbing for a teacher who has needed to be out for a little while.  It is in first grade again and it has been quite a ride. . . I am actually having a pretty good time though.  The kids are finally used to me after a week or so under my teaching which I am so thankful for.  There has been this one little girl though that has stood out this past week over all the rest.  This girl is incredibly incredibly bright, she thinks outside the box, and she is funny.    However, she also has a little bit of an attitude to go with her smarts.  She always has to have the last word and is incredibly stubborn.  Regardless I love her.  I think because she reminds me of my mom.  Good thing my mom taught me a thing or two about being more stubborn than a kid.  We have been working on telling the truth instead of lying this week.  Each time she has lied to me for one reason or another we have talked about how you always get in more trouble when you lie as opposed to when you tell the truth, and how I was not "turning her card" because of her action, but because she had lied to me about it.

However, today she turned a corner.  I saw in a reading folder she had that there were two scores (from tests she had taken over the books she read the previous night) that were not in my handwriting.  They were either the writings of a first grader or a high school boy that helped her test the other day.  I asked "Who wrote these down for you?"  When she didn't reply I asked her is if was the  boy that helped out that day.  She said "Yes, he wrote them down."  I then told her I was going to go ask another teacher if that was the boy's handwriting."  As I started to walk off she turned to me and said, "Actually it was me who wrote the scores down."  Now while you may not think anything of this other than "What she did was wrong" this is SUCH A BREAKTHROUGH.  She voluntarily told the truth!  I told her how proud was of her for telling me the truth!  I asked her if her teacher ever allowed her to write down her scores and after a while got her to where she said the answer she knew to be true, "no."  We then talked about how we aren't supposed to write down our own scores, but since she told the truth she was not going to be in trouble and to give me a big hug!  I was so excited! While I have not done anything special or significant, other than explain why her actions aren't acceptable, it is nice to know that I have made a slight difference.  This is why teacher's do what they do.

Another thing I saw happened today.  I was walking back into the school this afternoon and saw a mom unloading cupcakes and a present out of her car to take into the school.  Another mom came out to see if she needed help and as I was walking by I heard a part of the story.  There was a little girl in her child's class whose birthday had been this past week, but nothing had happened.  You see usually when a kid has a birthday on a school day the parents will bring up cupcakes to share with the class.  This mom had heard that nothing had been done and I THINK I heard her say that nothing had happened at her home either.  This mom was relating to this other mom "I just can't stand for someone not to have a birthday."

I walked back to the classroom thinking about this mom and her gift to this little girl, when I run into them again as they come into our building.  I then talked to the teacher of the child who was receiving the surprise birthday and she said this mom thought birthday's were special and how excited the child was going to be.  I got to thinking about how this mom, whether she is a believer or not was being the hands and feet of Christ in this kid's life.  This kid was told by this lady's actions that  he or she was important enough to be remembered on a special day just for them.  I thought to myself,  "How many times have I missed the obvious chances to be the hands and feet of Jesus?  How often have I concerned about me and not about getting out there and finding some practical way to make someone's day?" It has been my prayer this week that I would show love to these students (believe me, this happened ONLY because of Jesus.  Nineteen first graders (read, 6-7 year olds) can be highly annoying, especially as a group) instead of annoyance, that I would find myself enjoying them, and having a good time while I am there. You know what, I have.  It has been an enjoyable week.  It reassures me that not all classes will be like the one I had my first go around, and that teaching is actually fun.

This also brought me to thinking about this strapping young dude.

I pray he grows up to be a bright little guy, one who thinks outside of the box, and loves to learn.  More than that I hope he grows up to be someone who loves the Lord, loves people, loves his parents,  is strong, and thinks of others.  However more than ever I realize that many of those things I just listed lie with me as a parent.  It is going to take a lot of work on my part, I cannot be lazy and think he will learn to love and respect others by happenstance.  I will have to teach him the little things, like it is not nice to roll your eyes at someone because that is very rude and isn't nice to do, or he can't stomp off when he doesn't get his way because that is not honoring.  It will take multiple and umpteen explanations, but hopefully it will all pay off in the long run.  I also want him to know his mom loves people and to watch out for others who might need a little extra love.  No doubt it was another child in that class that alerted his mom to the fact his or her classmate didn't have a birthday.  I must lead this by example.  

With much prayer and searching through God's Word I believe we might have a shot at this parenting thing.  I know we will make mistakes, but we are doing all we can to get things right.  

My Problem

Today is yet another quiet mid-morning in the Clifton household with the baby asleep, the bathroom cleaned, and the kitchen and bedrooms, well they are a work in progress.  I have been enjoying my time here at home, I praise God for the blessings it has given me.  Time with my family, time with my little man, time with the dogs (however irritating that can be), time to get things done, time to be rejuvenated, time to rest, just time.  However, perhaps I am not using it as wisely as I should.

I go around and I read all my other friends' blog posts and they are all going through this seemingly great "spiritual revelation" time.  They have scripture, devotions, discoveries, and it all seems so nice.  And it makes me wonder, "Am I missing something, and if so, what is it?"  The thing is, I know that it is all my fault, that I am the one to blame for the whole "missing it" factor.

Since I have identified the problem, I know now I need to fix it.  It must become habit for me to sit down and read my bible, I repeat it MUST.  I also feel the strong need for more scripture memory in my life.  There are times when I think, "I could be pondering on God's word while I am doing ____(put in whatever task I happen to be doing at the time)" but I really do no know that much scripture.

Also, I need to be engaged in more constant prayer, not just when I feel like it, it is time for bed, Reid is incessantly crying, or I have lost something.  I long for conversation daily when I am in a house alone (or with someone who can't understand me yet, for which I am grateful most of the time), and yet I am missing the opportunity to have it with the One who deserves it most.  I know prayer is another area I am lacking in.   I long to be closer to my God, yet constantly find "better things to do" then to work on the relationship.  I know this is a dead end road.

It is like getting back into the swing of working out again.  About two weeks ago I told Mark he was to be my personal trainer and motivation in my head to get into shape again.  This is something I have honestly never had to worry about before, so it was hard for me to get started.  But after some encouragement from him and from another Mommy friend, I have been working out 5 days a week or so.  Nothing strenuous, just the elliptical for 30 minutes or so, or tennis, or just something to get me up and moving.  Let me tell you the first day was HARD, my legs hurt, my chest hurt, I was nasty and sweaty and red-faced, but I did it.  And you wanna know what, I felt good afterwards.  Accomplished.  That was helpful the next day when I knew I had to go back and do it all over again.  Now I enjoy it for the most part, I know it is needed.  I have made better choices in what I eat because of the change, and I have liked the falling number on the scale.

I feel like I am spiritually overweight, and not in a good way, spiritually lazy.  I have been relying on what I did in college to just get me by, but that just wont cut it anymore.  We are in a new era in life, and it is time to buck up again and become spiritually disciplined.  It is time to work out, and even though it might be hard at first, and it might hurt a little, I know I will feel good afterwards, I know I will realize how needed it is, I know.

So this is me, this is where I am.   I am not proud of my problem, but I am admitting it, and telling you I am going to change.