Lies From The Enemy

I have been pondering to myself lately over what does it mean to be a modern stay at home mom.  As many of you already know, I am having to learn how to do this stay at home thing.  Sometimes this can be a little scary, especially when you have the enemy lying in wait to whisper lies into your heart.

For the past couple of days I have been pondering many “what if” questions.  These are never good, I know that, as I know I should give my worries to the Lord, but I failed.  I allowed the enemy to enter into my thoughts and whisper lies to me about myself.  The main lie I heard and the scariest one was “What if I don’t love Reid enough?  What if I don’t like him the way I should?  What if I don’t enjoy my own child the way he is meant to be enjoyed?”  These thoughts crept into my mind, especially as I took pleasure in seeing my child interact with other people and the joy they had from him.  I thought, “What if I am missing it?”

Thank goodness for husbands.  The Lord was gracious to give me a wonderful man who is so wise (especially for being so young) and will take the time to encourage me.  He reminded me of the fact I hear everyone around me say “Oh he is so cute, he is a wonderful baby, you’re so lucky, you’re so blessed he is so happy, you just don’t know how good you have it” and while all these things are true, these people are not the ones who are with him day in and day out.  The ones saying these nice things are not the people who get up in the middle of the night a few times a week when he is teething, or who are there when he won’t fall asleep for nap time.

I am ever reminded that being a stay at home mom is a huge sacrifice.  One I joyfully and gladly make most of the time.  However there are those moments when life gets the best of me and I am not so glad or joyful to be up at 12:30, then at 5, and again for good at 6:30.  I am learning to take my thoughts captive and surrender them to God, to mediate on His word, memorize it, live and breathe it.  Hopefully I do not allow the devil to get into my heart and my head again with these thoughts.  I love my little boy dearly, and I do enjoy the days I get to spend with him, watching him grow and thrive.  I wonder if I am the only one who has had thoughts like this?  Are there others?  If you have and know other ways to fight the lies off and away from my heart I would love to know.  Just leave a comment.

Back At Home,Brother's Graduation, 1st Mother's Day, Reid's Baby Dedication

Today I am finally back at home!  I cannot tell you how good it feels to be back where I belong!  The past two weeks I spent up at the school were fun, but they were also so time consuming.  I had forgotten what it felt like to get up and have to be somewhere else for someone else every morning by at least 7:30.  No small feat.

So now here is what I feel like is the big question, do I miss it?  And the answer is (drum roll please). . . I thought I did.  You know it is so weird because after being back into the swing of things, I thought I did miss it.  A part of me did and still does.  When I actually got my heart and my mind right about being up there with kids 5 days out of the week, I really enjoyed myself.  But today, being back at home, back to wiping a poopy hiney, making upteen bottles, cleaning, thinking about dinner, doing laundry, and all those things I realized I am still right where I need to be.  Yes one day, I will probably be back in the classroom, because that is where I feel useful, where I am comfortable, where I am using the abilities I have naturally.  However, right now I am honing the ones that don't come naturally, the things I have to work at to become a better helpmeet to my husband and mother to my son.  I enjoyed subbing, but wouldn't trade places and go back, at least not right now.

So today has been fairly routine.  I have gotten the house somewhat back in order with the big things like deep cleaning the kitchen again and our bedroom.  I am grateful for a husband who kept things tidy around the house in my two week absence, otherwise it would have been quite atrocious.  Reid is taking his second nap of the day (hallelujah!) and I am taking a break to fill yall in.

My younger brother, Adam, graduated from ETBU on Saturday.  He too has a teaching degree, social studies 8th-12th grade!  We were so excited for him and his great accomplishment!  Reid did wonderfully during the ceremony, he slept through a lot of it, which is fine by me!  We all went out to eat afterwards.  I have a wonderful family!

Hugging the president of the University, Dr. Dub

His little mini me!

Waiting to walk

Handing his card to the dean (love her btw)

So happy for him!

Yea Adam!

My 1st mother's day was excellent as well.  Instead of the baby monitor noise doing it, I got awoken by a tap on the shoulder from my wonderful hubby who was holding a tray of breakfast!  He had gotten up and fixed me and omelet and french toast (I know girls, be jealous).  He, Reid, and I all enjoyed a semi quiet breakfast in bed before he had to get ready to go to church.  Mark was also kind enough to dress up for me!  He put on a nice shirt and tie (it helped we were dedicating Reid this morning as well).  I got dressed and then got the boy dressed and off we went to church.  Mark's parents met us for worship, along with his twin brother Blake (surprise) to all watch as we dedicated Reid.  It was so neat to say before the church "We give this child to the Lord, and will bring him up in a way that honors Him." Reid is also a 6th generation member, so that was equally special.  Mark also went down to the front to tell the church he wishes to be ordained!  It was special!  The pictures are all jumbled up, sorry!

Listening to the preacher.

Our music minister praying with Mark after his announcement!

Baby dedication!

Mark and his parents!

Proud

Can you tell he is just a little loved?

After church my parents had us and Mark's family all over to eat burgers and visit.  Everyone had a good time holding and spoiling that little boy rotten.  After they headed back to Tyler, we made the rounds visiting all the other mothers which live around here.  Of course he was loved on and spoiled all over again, so much so, he didn't take a nap at all.  Talk about your tired baby by the end of the day.  He went to sleep without a hitch that night!  What a wonderful and busy two weeks and weekend it has been, but I wouldn't have had it any other way!