Decisions Aren't So Easy Anymore

Man let me tell you in case you didn't already know or assume, life as a mom is hard work! Seriously! The sad thing is it isn't all of the stuff you are "doing" that is hard, it is the emotional stress that is the worst. I don't know about all my other mom friends out there, but it seems as if there is something you are constantly worrying/ second guessing yourself over. At least this is what I find myself doing. You so badly want the best for your child, yet you are new at this whole mommy thing too, so what are you to do? And wouldn't you know all these questions and concerns always arise on the weekends when the doctor's office is closed!

I guess I will let you in on my saga. If you recall the previous post, I blogged about Reid supposedly having colic and all. Well I believe that has changed, though it is just a mommy diagnosis. I believe he actually has reflux, poor thing. You see when he got breast milk at least once to twice a day he would projectile spit up most of what he ate. I am talking like HUGE spit up, shooting out his mouth and his NOSE! While impressive, I was somewhat concerned. He also appeared very gassy and not happy after he ate, especially at night when we laid him down, even on an elevated bed. Now we had tried formula just a couple of times, just to see if he would even take it, and he did because he is just like his Daddy and will eat anything that goes into his mouth. Well we began to notice that if he ate formula he didn't throw up at all, nor was he gassy, he just slept.

So now this left me with a dilemma, to stop BF and start formula, or to see what happened. For a while that is what I did, kept feeding him breast milk and hoping it would get better. It did not. So on friday night/saturday morning, we went and stayed at my mom and dad's house. They were gonna pull the night shift to let me get a full nights sleep (which was GLORIOUS btw) so I left them formula and breast milk. They fed him formula, and he did fine, and then they fed him breast milk and once again it was like old faithful, and he just spewed it. Needless to say I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to go with formula for the day. He has done much better, is sleeping more and harder, and hasn't projectile spit up (or regular spit up for that matter) once! The only problem right now is that he is a little constipated, but hopefully that will clear up today (please pray it will).

While it might look like this was the easiest choice in the book believe me it wasn't. I know I hadn't liked breast feeding, but I was over the 3 weeks hump and it was getting better (though I don't think I would have ever loved it, or liked it), so as a mom I felt/feel guilty about not breast feeding him. I want to do the best thing for him. I tried cutting out my dairy and gassy foods as much as I could and still live, but it just never seemed to do any thing for him. I have been fighting this battle back and forth. In fact I am now pumping just in case I do want to go back. I don't give up easily that is for sure. I want to be the best mom and quit hurting him lol.

So yeah, that has been my weekend. Please pray I am at peace with whatever route, and that his gastric issues are cleared up soon.

What Did I Ever Blog About Before?

Seriously what did I blog about 3 weeks ago, better yet what did I blog about over 9 months ago. Honestly I have no idea! How boring my life and this blog must have been without a little red head to keep it interesting. Here is the latest on Mr. Little Man. . .

The nurse at the doctor's office thinks that Reid has a slight case of colic :-( Yes I know, all moms please do a collective sympathy sigh for me and Mark. Don't get me wrong he is still a good baby, he doesn't scream or cry really at all with it, he just looks so uncomfortable at night, like he is trying to poop and the poor thing just can't do it! So sad to watch! I really wish there was something I could do to help him, but all I can do is hold him and hope he eventually does poop.

So now this is what this blog has come down to, talking about bodily functions haha! Seriously though, he still is the best baby, though he is becoming just a little spoiled. He really hasn't had to fall asleep outside of somebody else's arms, which is making for a little bit of a hard time falling asleep elsewhere when he is at home. But we love him all the same, and it helps when you are so cute that you don't really mind holding him (but this must change soon, I am sure a few months from now that will not be nearly as cute as it is now). Well he is hungry, so I better go and feed him. Hopefully I will be able to add pictures later today!

Read about Reid

Yep you read it right, this is the first of many "Read about Reid" posts that will be making an appearance on our blog on a more than likely regular basis. Here are a few things we have learned about our little man so far.

1. The little booger is hot natured just like his daddy. We have gotten up more than once during the night thinking he had wet out the back of his diaper (how he does that I am not sure either) and it is actually sweat.

2. He loves to be moving! If he is crying in his car seat, just get the car moving he usually will quiet down.

3. He has awful hiccups. The first night he was home we thought he was gagging on spit up, when it was actually just hiccuping really hard! An elevated bed does wonders.

4. The boy is a champion sleeper! He loves to sleep and will sleep anywhere, and if he is really tired he wont wake up for anything, no matter how annoying his momma is to him.

5. He loves to eat, though sometimes it is a fight between mom and him to get him going. He left the hospital weighing 7 pounds 4 ounces and when we went to the pediatrician he weighed 8 pounds 9 ounces!!! Healthy Boy!

6. He likes to lift up his head and look around. His favorite place to do tummy time is actually on his daddy's chest when he is laying in the recliner.

7. He hates sponge baths, and will definitely let you know it. That is until you turn him over and wash his back and then do his head. He will stop crying and just look at you and everything around. I think he will be like his momma and love being in the real bath once that dern cord falls off.

8. He loves the swing, once again it is a motion thing.

9. The fan and window are his biggest friends right now, he will just stare at them all day long.

10. He looks more and more like his daddy each and every day. He also has the best daddy in the world, who just dotes on him and has taken such a major hands on approach to this whole fatherhood thing!

All in all, we are settling into this whole new family dynamic thing. I can honestly say I would never go back. It isn't always easy, isn't always fun, but life without him would be awful and I never want to go back. I remember being so nervous, and believe me if I think about how he will be around for the next 18 years at least and how we are responsible for him then it becomes a little daunting, but as of right now, life is good. I feel as if I have entered into this realm of mommy hood, not known to me before. I listen to things differently, reason differently, think differently, pray differently, life has changed. There is more to talk about than just me and my life, my life is now concerned with a little 8 pound 8 ounce person, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

A Few Pics From Reid's Birth

Here are a few pictures from Reid's birth. Enjoy!

Oh Motherhood. . .

Oh the joys of motherhood! You see that is why it took me 3 days to write this post, this post that isn't very long. You can see how no sleep and crying about every little thing (I'm just about sick of this) can really take a toll on a person just by reading through this post!

Yep it is official, Mark and I have the best baby in the entire world! He has been such a joy to have, I mean seriously I don't know what we did before him! He eats, sleeps, and poops, just like he should, seriously, he is SO advanced lol.

I love just sitting and watching him do all the things he does. He can already hold his head up for at least 2-3 seconds at a time when he wants. He is sleeping 3-4 hours at night and takes regular naps during the day, I mean the boy is a champion sleeper.

However yesterday I about lost it. I thought I had made him sick!!!! Seriously the boy was pooping every diaper change, literally, and it really seemed to hurt him, plus he has his first little diaper rash (ouch), and well he was making such awful faces when going potty. Anyway, I called mom to see if she wanted to come over for lunch/ some much needed reassurance, but she didn't answer. Then I called Mark and squalled to him "I think he is sick!" So the best daddy in the whole world comes straight over, takes a look, and tells his hormonal, crying wife that he seems just fine, and if he was sick he would be crying and all. In the middle of all this mom makes her way over to find me distraught and we go and talk.

I tell her I don't feel very good, so that should mean that he doesn't either! After some discussion she goes and takes off the rest of the day at work (I know I have the MOST AMAZING mother ever!) and I take my temperature which is around 100.2! Yikes! We call the doc and all they say is to watch it (thanks for all the help). I end up sleeping most of the rest of the day while my mom cleans my house for me! You have no idea how amazing it was to wake up to a clean kitchen and washed sheets! Seriously she worked her tail off all day, it was the sweetest thing and made me cry just about!

Breast feeding has been the hardest thing of all to deal with. He has a good latch (on one side, that started just last night where he is now not willing to take the other side hmm. . .) and is eating (I know this because we weighed him on mom's weight watchers scale and it said 8.8) but for some reason it is difficult. I think most of all it is just emotionally draining on me. Something about getting no more than two hours or so of sleep in a stretch can really just do a person in. It is hard because I know he relies on me for nourishment and it doesn't matter if I a tired and just want to sleep some more, I have to get up, change him, feed him, fight with him to eat off of one side, and then start the whole process over again in roughly about 2 and a half hours later. I try to take as many naps as I can while he is sleeping, but man it is hard to do at times, especially if I ever want alone time with Mark. I am hoping I can keep it up, because he can do it, can eat fast, and then will sleep, but I just know now that it is not something to be taken as lightly as I did.

So yeah, it is all good. It is still much better to have an outside baby rather than an inside baby. I keep telling myself I could still be pregnant right now! Yikes! Thank you high blood pressure for inducing me, because I don't think I would have made it!

birth story!

We are finally home and so much has happened and changed it is unreal!! There is so much I want to tell everyone, but I guess I will start at the beginning with Reid's birth story. It was the craziest and most intense thing I have ever done in my entire life! Here is what happened. . .

On Tuesday Mark and I went in to the doctor's office for just our regular weekly visit. We were in there and found out my blood pressure was slightly elevated. As a precaution the doctor sent me across the street to the hospital for monitoring. It came down because I was resting on the bed so they sent me home, but told me to call the doc the next day to go in and have it checked again. We go home, sleep, and then are back in the doctor's office that afternoon to recheck the BP. They check me on Wednesday and see that it is still high and so he tells me he is going to induce on Thursday October 7! Wow! However he cannot really feel my cervix so we are told to go into the hospital that night to get citotec, a pill that softens it andmakes it dilate. We go home, get everything situated around the house, go back into town, eat and picky up last minute items from and by 8:30 we are at the hospital.

We went in and I got admitted, got my IV, which they had to stick me 3 times to do,and then they checked me. Here is what I think happened. I think I sat up in the bed right before the nurse checked me and had a contraction (I had been having braxton hicks off and on) and dilated a little. Then when the nurse checked me it made me dilate to a two because I ended up bleeding quite a bit.. Because I was dilated all the sudden they decided not to do the citotec and gave me ambien to help me sleep and we called it a night at 11. At 2:50 I woke up to my water breaking and that is where all the fun begins. My water broke and almost immediately real contractions started! It was strange because the pain wasn't what I thought it was going to be (like sharp, excruciating pain) it was a pain that came in waves, getting more intense and then slacking off. As soon as my water broke I asked for the epidural, and my advice for any new moms is to ask for it ASAP!!!! Like as soon as they will let you ask, ask, because it takes a while to get it and to get the fluids in you that you have to have before they can give it. The nurse had to ask the doctor if I could have it (why I have no idea) and that took 45 mins. This is where it gets a little fuzzy for me, I remember things happening in spurts but it is all jumbled. I sat up to get the epidural but was in pain and having contractions, so I threw up some. The nurses were great and it didn't phase them a bit, but I knew it was all happening a little faster than they thought because the nurse I had said "it's ok, people usually do this during transition! So I got the epi and then laid back down for them to check me, and they figured out I was at a 10!! Yeah I know talk about quick! They also had to put a monitor on the baby's head and put some saline (fluid) back inside me. Of course all this is hurting because the epi hadn't had time to take affect. I think under normal circumstances they would have waited until the epidural was working, but they realized how fast it was going. I get the epi and all that done and then have the feeling like i need to go to the bathroom. That really was the urge to push . They laid me back down and I began pushing. Pushing wasn't difficult because I could feel where to push. It is crazy that you body knows just what to do. I was scared and freaking out, telling Mark we had to wait until the epidural had taken affect, but this was unrealistic since Reid was coming and coming NOW! So they gave me nubane, and that relaxed me inbetween contractions. Getting the head out was the hardest and took the longest. The epidural really should have taken affect at some point during the whole process, but it never did, so I don't believe it was put in right. The only thing that ever got numb was my right thigh!! Once the head was out things got somewhat easier, and once the shoulders were out he just came right on out with the next push. I cannot begin to tell you the RELIEF that came with that, nor the crazy feeling of your stomach going from hard to not hard! That was the weirdest and the best! They showed him to me and then took him to be worked on while they sewed me up. It took about another 30 minutes before I actually got to see him and hold him, but it was great to finally get to look him in the eyes, even if I was still a little loopy. He weighed 7 pounds 13 ounces and was 21 and 1/4 inches long, and was ssssooo beautiful!

We had tons of visitors that first day. It was so much fun to have other people see him and fawn over him the way we were, we were so in love!!!! We enjoyed our stay at the hospital too! We were there an extra day because I tested positive for strep, which helped tremendously in the whole recovery process. The nurses were great, teaching me how to feed and swaddle him.

The coolest thing to watch was Mark become a daddy, and let me just tell you, he has become the best daddy a kid could ask for. He would barely let me do anything at the hospital! He is the best diaper changer and swaddler right now! He loves loves loves this little boy! He has taken such good care of me, I couldn't ask for a better husband! I know this is probably more than you ever wanted to know, but it is what all happened to me.

Meet Mr. Reid

Finally after 9 and a half long months Reid Andrew Clifton made his grand entrance at on October 7, 2010 at 5:49 A.M. It was a crazy day, with a crazy turn of events that led to him arriving earlier than previously planned. I am doing ok, very sore, but on pain meds so that is good, and he is doing marvelously. The pediatrician came in after he checked him over right after he was born and said he was a very healthy baby who was strong. He is perfect in mine and Mark's opinion :-)

His birth was definitely fast and furious, something I will blog about later on because it is a story in and of itself. Let's just say modern medicine just happened to fail me that day :-(

We are still in the hospital until tomorrow morning, and then it is time to come home and get life started! I will post pics of that later on. Time for me to go snuggle with my new man.

Not Me Monday

I decided to get a little creative on this glorious feeling Monday morning and do a "Not Me Monday" post.

I am totally not sitting here blogging in an attempt to delay the inevitable cleaning of my house. See I know it is on the verge between a decently short cleaning time or a long one, which should motivate me to get up and get going (while I still have two hands within which to do this).

I have not forgotten to sit out chicken to thaw for supper tonight. That would be irresponsible and not win me any "wife of the week" awards with the Hubs.

I totally did not have a brownie to finish off breakfast this morning. What a pregnant thing to do that would have been.

I didn't just mail out the last of the thank you notes. A good person would have had them done 3 days after they recieved the gift.

I do not have any more things left on my "Finishing the House" list on my fridge. Who would really with the baby coming in two weeks or less, nope not me!

I did not wake up super late this morning just because I could, only to just lay around on the couch and watch morning television, how lazy that would have been!

I have not goofed around on facebook for half the morning either, seriously is there a bigger waste of time? ;-)

I am not leaving the dogs in their cages for now, even though I am home just because I don't want to hear the sound of their nails on the laminate floor, that's cruel (lol).

I have not entertained the idea of going and finding a trampaline to jump on to see if it would make little man get here quicker, what a disaster that would be.

I really am not sitting here thinking of more ridiculous things to write so I do not have to get up and get started. . .

There you have it, Not Me Monday!

Good Times With The Hubs!

Today has been a very good day. After a semi-long week, where we finished up most stuff on the house on Monday, I did housework and all on Tuesday, of course there was church on Wednesday, Thursday Mark had work and we also helped the new music minister move in, and today we finally had his day off! It was wonderful! We slept in, ate, installed the car seat in the car/ cleaned it out, ate again, then headed off to town to run some errands and go on a what is possibly a last date before we actually need a baby sitter. It was a wonderful day where we got along, got things accomplished. We went and pre-registered at Longview Regional Hospital and took a tour of where we everything was. We also went and got most last minute purchases, and then to eat at Texas Road House!!! It was sssooo good! Our server also sent us home with a take home box of rolls and butter! I think the belly made her feel sorry for me! We also got a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks when we went to Target, which neither one of us had ever had before. It was pretty good.

However all of these things from the week and from today have made me be on my feet or have my feet hanging off a chair. As a result I now feel as if there are rubber bands around my ankles and I can feel the swelling in my calves as well. My feet look about as pregnant as my belly does which is kinda funny and sad all at the same time. Consequently here is what the rest of the evening and probably a lot of tomorrow looks like for me.

Sitting on a coach, feet elevated with a computer. I am definitely getting more anxious about the impending arrival of this baby boy, but also getting nervous about the birth. Hopefully all will go well.