Decisions Aren't So Easy Anymore

Man let me tell you in case you didn't already know or assume, life as a mom is hard work! Seriously! The sad thing is it isn't all of the stuff you are "doing" that is hard, it is the emotional stress that is the worst. I don't know about all my other mom friends out there, but it seems as if there is something you are constantly worrying/ second guessing yourself over. At least this is what I find myself doing. You so badly want the best for your child, yet you are new at this whole mommy thing too, so what are you to do? And wouldn't you know all these questions and concerns always arise on the weekends when the doctor's office is closed!

I guess I will let you in on my saga. If you recall the previous post, I blogged about Reid supposedly having colic and all. Well I believe that has changed, though it is just a mommy diagnosis. I believe he actually has reflux, poor thing. You see when he got breast milk at least once to twice a day he would projectile spit up most of what he ate. I am talking like HUGE spit up, shooting out his mouth and his NOSE! While impressive, I was somewhat concerned. He also appeared very gassy and not happy after he ate, especially at night when we laid him down, even on an elevated bed. Now we had tried formula just a couple of times, just to see if he would even take it, and he did because he is just like his Daddy and will eat anything that goes into his mouth. Well we began to notice that if he ate formula he didn't throw up at all, nor was he gassy, he just slept.

So now this left me with a dilemma, to stop BF and start formula, or to see what happened. For a while that is what I did, kept feeding him breast milk and hoping it would get better. It did not. So on friday night/saturday morning, we went and stayed at my mom and dad's house. They were gonna pull the night shift to let me get a full nights sleep (which was GLORIOUS btw) so I left them formula and breast milk. They fed him formula, and he did fine, and then they fed him breast milk and once again it was like old faithful, and he just spewed it. Needless to say I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to go with formula for the day. He has done much better, is sleeping more and harder, and hasn't projectile spit up (or regular spit up for that matter) once! The only problem right now is that he is a little constipated, but hopefully that will clear up today (please pray it will).

While it might look like this was the easiest choice in the book believe me it wasn't. I know I hadn't liked breast feeding, but I was over the 3 weeks hump and it was getting better (though I don't think I would have ever loved it, or liked it), so as a mom I felt/feel guilty about not breast feeding him. I want to do the best thing for him. I tried cutting out my dairy and gassy foods as much as I could and still live, but it just never seemed to do any thing for him. I have been fighting this battle back and forth. In fact I am now pumping just in case I do want to go back. I don't give up easily that is for sure. I want to be the best mom and quit hurting him lol.

So yeah, that has been my weekend. Please pray I am at peace with whatever route, and that his gastric issues are cleared up soon.